So I am writing this post x amount of miles above the ground and it feels surreal. It's my first flight in 18 months and obviously the first one after my CBT. I think at the back of my head this was the final test. I always enjoyed flying but since my anxiety became quite severe I wasn't sure if I could do it any more. Well I'm doing it right now and I'm grinning like a child with tears in my eyes at the same time! This means and symbolises so much to me.
During my last session I reviewed my initial goals and one of them was to visit my mum this summer, get to the airport by public transport and fly, all without any meds. This seemed like an impossible goal a year ago and if I remember correctly I was rather sceptical about achieving it at all. It's hard to describe how I feel right now, I guess emotional would be the best choice of word, followed by relieved. I cannot wait to give my mum the biggest hug! This has been by far the biggest challenge and obstacle to overcome and not something I would wish on anyone. All of a sudden I feel weirdly empowered. If you are reading this and considering CBT or any other treatment please do it, there is so much to gain! Now instead of feeling anxious I am back to my impatient self wanting to ask: 'are we there yet?!' ;)
I wanted to thank my therapist James for not leavings any stones unturned and pushing me in the direction of recovery. I am so grateful to everyone who has supported me throughout the process. I feel like I am doing some sort of an award speech but who cares. I'm happy! :D :D :D
Much love,
Kasia xx
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